Valentine’s Day is this week and, like other holidays, may trigger mixed emotions among couples and singles trying to have a baby.
If you are part of a couple, infertility or pregnancy loss may have wreaked havoc on your relationship and marriage. The trauma of not being able to conceive or the devastation of a miscarriage could be the most difficult challenge you have faced together.
Men are from Mars and women are from Venus when it comes to expressing their emotions, and you and your partner may have different ideas about how to move forward with treatment or to resolve your infertility. Learning how to communicate with each other as well as navigating the decision-making process in unison are crucial steps in forming a satisfying partnership.
Conversely, if you are trying to have a baby as a ‘choice’ parent, you sometimes may feel alone as you pursue solo parenthood and might wish you had a partner to help with what can be a stressful process.
For all these reasons and more, Valentine’s Day can offer a reprieve and an opportunity to love yourself and your partner, if you have one.
Here are a few tips from HRC Fertility to make the most of Valentine’s Day.
Connect as a couple in an infertility-free zone
Make this day about your partner and romance. Whether you plan a dinner in a special restaurant, send and receive thoughtful gifts, or simply have an intimate evening alone, forget the ‘I’ word. Remember the time before timed intercourse and when you made love without the pressure of a baby making agenda. Focus on your love and remember the reasons you want to celebrate your love by having a baby. There are many ways to create a special Valentine’s Day that can take you away from your infertility struggles.
Smother yourself with self-love
Valentine’s Day is an opportunity to indulge yourself with self-love, regardless if you have a spouse or partner. Schedule a massage or day of beauty with a facial and a makeover. For those on a budget, a long, hot bubble bath can be just what the doctor ordered. Do you like chocolate? Well, there is no reason you can’t buy yourself a Whitman’s Sampler or a box of Godiva Chocolates.
Nurture your mind and soul
As a couple or alone, you can use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to enjoy new ways to enhance your life. You are more than a person trying to get pregnant.
Have you always wanted to explore a new hobby, such as yoga or a cooking class? You could even entice your partner (or a friend) to join you for a bonding experience. Focus on your strengths or special skills, as well as the time and resources you have now that you might not have once you become a parent.
Get in touch with your body
It is not unusual for women to be particularly sensitive to their bodily imperfections in a society where youth and beauty are revered. The ramifications can be particularly hurtful for women struggling to conceive who often feel their body has betrayed them, causing their self-esteem to drop further. Confidence-boosting activities, such as getting a makeover, taking an exercise class or engaging in some retail therapy, can help you feel better about yourself while forgetting, even only momentarily, your troubles. So smother yourself with self-love.
Turn off social media
Engaging in social media can be emotionally trying if you are coping with infertility while you watch friends share photos and experiences about their pregnancies and children. It also can make you feel inadequate about your love life if your peers are showing off in the romance department too. But try to forget about the comparisons, close your Facebook and Instagram apps, and recall all the reasons you fell in love with your significant other.
Have a Happy Galentine’s Day
Whether you are a choice parent or just a woman who loves and supports her girlfriends, your gal pals can be a vital source of support and encouragement. Having a Girls’ Night Out or a Girls’ Weekend may be precisely what you need to take an emotional vacation from your challenges. According to Southern Magazine, there even is scientific proof that friendships can lower your chances of heart disease and increase your pain tolerance threshold.
Hope you all have someone to love this Valentine’s Day, even if that person is yourself! With some planning and creativity, you can make this Valentine’s Day one where you rekindle the romance and embrace Cupid’s arrow.
References:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/pregnancy-loss-infertilitys-impact-on-your-marriage/